Integration Information

Integration

Thank you for coming to ceremony and celebrating the joy of transformation and healing with us. Although the specific ceremony circle we created has ended, it is very common for people to continue to receive messages, insights, and healing from the medicine for several days, or even weeks, afterward. Thus, integration is just as important to your healing process as was ceremony.

In fact, in places where ceremony is indigenous, such as Peru and Ecuador, people often take an extra day or two to themselves to fully soak in and integrate their experience. We are not always afforded that luxury here in our busy North American culture, nor it is always necessary. Many people have regularly gone back to work Monday morning after a weekend of ceremonies and have done fine in their work and in their interactions with the world around. That said, it is important to keep in mind that we can feel extra sensitive after ceremony and even a little unsettled for a couple days as the energy from ceremony finishes it work and we complete the healing process. Thus, we encourage you to be mindful of the integration period and, perhaps, schedule some alone time for yourself to journal and reflect upon the experience.

Please note: Ayahuasca is not a replacement for psychological therapy nor medical treatment. It can, however, be a great addition when working through both psychological and medical issues. Ceremony often raises issues that a person can work through on their own, but if you are currently going to a therapist, we encourage you to continue seeing your therapist. As well, if the ceremony brought up a lot of issues for you, we encourage you to work through them with a professional - either a therapist or an integration coach - in order to get the most out of the experience. Therapy is not necessary, but is a wonderful addition to the work.

Possible Journal Questions

Journalling is a great way to integrate a ceremony experience. Consider answering the following questions in writing or just internally to yourself. Either way is fine, although there is something very powerful about actually writing things down on paper for you to read later:

Now that you’ve had this experience, what would you like to remember, carry forward or complete
What visions or information are you bringing home to your community?
How can you manifest these visions on a physical plane? In your life? Work? Relationships?
What was your intention before doing ceremony? (There is always some intention, even if it wasn’t consciously considered at the time.) How did your experience reflect your intention?
How does your experience affect your identity? Who is the person you want to become in your life and how can this experience contribute to your growth and expansion?
What are your intentions in life and how did this experience contribute to your larger goals and desires?

(Questions above are adapted from those found in the book, Listening to Ayahuasca: New Hope for Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Anxiety by Rachel Harris.)

Other possible Journal questions

What did you learn about yourself? About your personality? About how you relate to the world and others?
What was a vision you had in ceremony and how does it relate to your intention and/or issues that you are working through in your life at this time?
What were the general emotions you went through in ceremony and what do you feel those emotions relate to in your life and to your personality?
What were the general emotions you felt after ceremony and the days following? What emotional issues arose for you in the days following ceremony? From the highest place of good for all, how do you feel is the best way to work with those emotions?

Give Yourself Time for Rest and Integration

Keeping integration in mind, even if you feel fine and able to work, we strongly advise that you schedule relaxation and/or downtime for yourself the days following ceremony, in which you would have no interruptions and have freedom to rest, to journal, to create through art, music, writing, dance, etc., to listen to music, to spend time in nature, to exercise, and/or to spend time with children or animals.

When we are doing things from our hearts, our creative side, and with our bodies, we allow the medicine to finish its work more easily. When we over-analyze aspects of the experience, allowing our minds to control our actions and interpretations, we can create delays in the process and create challenges for ourselves during the process. Just as in ceremony, overthinking creates roadblocks while surrendering with an open heat facilitates healing.

Stay relaxed and open - one way that people create challenges for themselves after ceremony is to resist the process. If after ceremony, you feel extreme tension in your body or mind, it is likely that you are resisting a gift or teaching from the medicine. At that point, it is helpful to ask yourself what your mind and/or ego may be holding onto to create this tension — fear, judgement, control, pride, etc.? As we look honestly at our mental activity and generate awareness around our thoughts, feelings, and emotions, we can release the tension.

As well, is is useful to remember that even if you feel tired after ceremony, your energy field is strong and can be overwhelming to people who were not in ceremony. Thus, it’s recommended to avoid sharing your experience completely with people until the strongest energies have settled (1-3 days). If you feel the need to share the experience, it is helpful to write/journal or share only with close friends and/or family who will be understanding of what you experienced and if your emotions are up and down.There is no problem telling people right after the experience, but please note that people who did not experience ceremony may not receive your ideas in the ways that you intend them. It’s often better to wait a few days before sharing with them.

Doing Our Work

At the end of ceremony, we can often feel very good emotionally and will feel good for a few days afterward. Over time, the intensity of the medicine begins to fade, and we can sometimes find ourselves feeling old feelings of sadness, anxiety, etc. If we feel those feelings, it does not mean that we did not receive healing from the medicine. Doing ceremony is not a "cure-all," meaning that once we experience it, we feel great forever afterward. Rather, each ceremony can help us heal in specific areas, and once the intensity of the medicine fades, we can discover in what ways, specifically, we received healing -- what old beliefs, traumas, etc. we let go of and what new empowering beliefs and feelings we now have to deal with those old familiar emotions and feelings. Often the healing that we experience centers around our intention and/or things related to it. As well, a ceremony can raise awareness of other issues that we've been carrying that keep up from reaching our full potential that we may choose to work on through therapy, coaching, other spiritual work, and/or another ceremony.

After ceremony, then, we are ask to continue the work of centering ourselves, empowering ourselves, letting go of negative self-talk, calming our hearts and minds, etc. We are still human, after all, and being human means that we have emotions and live in a world that sometimes can feel challenging or harsh. With ceremony, however, we connect with our own inner truth and strength and we can begin to deal with these "human-issues" with greater ease. We do have to still deal with them, though. Ceremony does not work like an anti-depressant removing or covering up feelings of sadness or anxiety; rather, ceremony can sometime raise emotions and feelings that we have deeply hidden, and it’s up to us to remember what ceremony showed us - our own inner power and ability to deal with those parts of life with greater ease and joy and our ability to connect with Source energy/Spirit/God, whatever your name is for it for guidance.

For support, we have monthly integration meetings. I encourage everyone to attend at least 2 or 3 meetings a year to learn tools to integrate the lessons of ceremony, to remember the self-empowerment and confidence ceremony taught us to access, and to live life with more freedom and power. Integration meeting information is available on the Upcoming Events page.

Interpreting Visions

While the mind and ego can create challenges in our integration process, it is important to remember that they can also influence our experiences in ceremony. People sometimes ask me if the messages and visions they received in ceremony are from Aya or from ego. I find the following quote particularly helpful in answering this: "We have to recognize the self-serving nature of our ego or of the parts of our personality that tell us what we want to hear. We need to sift through our experience to listen for the message that leads to greater love in the world.” We might ask ourselves, then: Is the message you received one that brings greater love into your life and into the lives of others? Is the message you received respecting the wants and needs of others or respecting only your own desires? If your interpretations of the messages you received are merely self-serving and not bringing love and respect into your own personal life and to the world around, then it may be that your ego has been controlling your experience, which is possible. However, if your intention is to truly heal for the greater good of all, then you are unlikely to fall into the trap of having the ego control your experience.

Also, it is helpful to remember that our minds and egos often want to figure things out, and they can do a good job thinking. Messages from Aya and Spirit, however, come intuitively, naturally, when we least expect them. I have seen people spend so much time thinking and analyzing their lives in ceremony that, although they may feel good about themselves by the end of ceremony, they haven’t had the full healing experience offered. They may feel good about themselves, yet their self-awareness and self-understanding, leading to a life of more ease and flow, did not deepen. Rather they tend to be in a state of merely self-satisfaction without self-awareness. These people may have had visions (more often they don’t), but the visions were strongly self-generated and except for giving them a sense of momentary self-satisfaction, the influence of their vision is not long lasting, and they do not easily incorporate the experience and healing into their lives.

At the other end of the spectrum, some people have visions that are frightening and cause them much concern. Sometimes Aya gives us warnings about our health, how we are living our lives, people and situations we should avoid, etc. These warnings come as a a way for us to understand ourselves better and to make necessary changes in our lives, yet the visions/messages are not necessarily true. Rather, they are given to us as a chance to change our lives for the better. (Note: If you received a vision about a health problem, we strongly encourage you to get a professional opinion from either a conventional or non-conventional health worker rather than allow anxiety or worry to disturb your peace of mind. Getting check ups can also help us make the changes we need to make in our lives so we can live with greater health.) These challenging visions are most often warnings for us to change how we are currently living, not indications that they are actually true.

Another type of frightening vision we can have are those in which Aya takes us directly into our fears so that we can diffuse them through our awareness and breath. An acknowledged fear that is accepted and surrendered to can transform into our personal power and strength. This is useful to remember in ceremony, during integration, and in our day-to-day lives. For instance, if we have fears about a specific project we want to do in our work or in our lives, we may find that our fears about completing the project well will increase in ceremony. What Aya is doing is taking us into our “worst-case scenario,’ and as we accept its possibility (ie. we may fail at the project) and, more importantly, understand that the potential failure will not ultimately affect who we are, our worth, our potential, etc., then we find ourselves freed from the fear and better able to do the project with clarity, flow, and lightness of heart. We must first fully surrender to the fear of failure for this happen, however. Historically, in many Native American tribes, the warriors would say to themselves before going into battle, “Today is a good day to die.” What they were doing was surrendering to their fear of death, acknowledging it, and allowing it to be, and, in so doing, accessing their deepest power. From that place, they could gain victory in battle because they were no longer weakened by the the fear of losing or dying. Fear is simply energy; when we acknowledge that, it becomes easier for us to let it go and/or transform.

Another way that Aya heals is through helping us release stuck or suppressed emotions and energies. What can happen during this process, however, can seems counter intuitive at first. As example, I once asked Aya to help me feel and express more love in my day-to-day life. I was surprised, then, to find that during the ceremony, she kept encouraging me to feel anger and even ‘fight’ visions of people she kept bringing to me. At first, I was confused — how would being angry or fighting help me love better? By the end of the ceremony and during my integration, I came to understand that Aya was helping me cleanse myself of suppressed anger, anger that was keeping my heart shut. By learning to be comfortable with the anger and releasing it energetically in ceremony, I opened up space through which love could more easily express itself through me.

Sometimes in ceremony, then, we can have feelings and emotions that seem completely opposite of what we asked for in our intention. Be patient with yourself and the process — sometimes we have to release heavy energies before we can experience the lightness and healing we desire.

Riding the Waves

It is helpful to keep in mind that the medicine works in waves, such as waves of a sea or ocean. As we work through issues and receive insights, we may at one moment feel on top of a wave while at other moments, we may feel ourselves at the bottom of the wave. We may, at the low moments, wonder if we have truly worked through the issues we dealt with in ceremony. There is no need to worry if this happens. We are simply being asked to look deeper at the issue and uncover more layers of it. We will emerge again to the top of the wave and receive more healing and insight as the process continues and comes to an end. It is helpful not to over think the process at these times, but rather to surrender to the feelings and emotions involved. Allow your thoughts to help you process the feelings and emotions, but avoid over analyzing your experience. Messages and integration happen best when we are in a heart-centered space.

When I have felt at the bottom of a wave cycle during the integration process, I have taken a moment, stopped all distractions, and with a quiet, meditative mind asked Spirit and the medicine for clarity into the issue and insight for release into the next stage of the healing process. The wave cycle sometimes continues until the issue is fully addressed. As all waves do, however, eventually it will roll into the "shore" of your healing and the direct power of the medicine will release.

If you find that you are still working through emotional waves that are challenging and/or ceremony-like, remember the breathing exercise we did at the beginning of ceremony and/or do a breathing exercise of your choice, which uses nasal breathing. Note: please avoid kundalini breathing and yoga for several days after ceremony! Stick to natural, or Zen, or Buddhist mindfulness breathing.

Further ‘Housecleaning’

Sometimes during integration, we are asked to do more internal work, to do more ‘housecleaning,’ so to speak, particularly in relation to ego-issues and negative self-talk and thought patterns. Be sure to remember that even when the challenging ego-related and challenging thoughts arise, they are not arising to stay or return to what they once were but rather to ask that we deal with a deeper layer of the issue to which they relate to increase our healing.

For instance, perhaps a participant has issues of pride. In ceremony, he/she may work through specific incidences of pride in his/her life, seeing ways in which pride can be healthy and ways in which it can be detrimental to the soul's growth. The participant may also even purge memories and false belief systems that has maintained the harmful aspects of pride. After ceremony, the participant may feel lighter and free of harmful pride, and, indeed, he/she is. The participant may find in the days following, however, that the negative aspects of pride creeps up again. At that point, a participant can remember the teachings and insights received in ceremony and also look to see what is causing the pride. Often, these emotions we label as negative or 'bad' are actually indicators that there is a part of us that needs attention and love. As ceremony opens us up to this understanding and even begins this process for us, the channel through which we can maintain this work remains forever afterward.

Ceremony helps us become more aware of our ways of thinking and being, and that awareness alone is enough for us to change the patterns. I used pride as my example here, yet each person may be working through different issues. People may also be working on anger, fear, guilt, envy, jealousy, self-esteem, self-confidence, etc. so be mindful of the emotions you were feeling in ceremony as well as those that linger the days following and work with them, noticing the layer beneath them, the part of you that needs comforting and reassurance and the part of you that could use a gentle reminder to let go of heavy and self-destructive thought patterns and behaviors.

If, in the integration process, you find yourself experiencing harsh self-criticism and self-judgement, the task is to take a break from whatever you are doing and allow for a moment of quietness, self-reflection, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness.

Being Still — meditation and stillness

If you find that you are committing your energies too much to others—work, family, loved ones, etc.—while you are trying to integration, the task is to be honest with yourself as to how much commitment is most beneficial for you during this process. If you find yourself avoiding the emotions and memories that ceremony brought up by keeping busy, thinking about other things or even indulging in distractions such as TV or the internet, the task is to discipline yourself and schedule meditation, contemplation, and self-healing times to allow for the full processing of the emotions and experience. In fact, turning off phones, TVs, and the internet is very helpful during integration.

I have found that sitting still, allowing myself to feel fully the feelings and emotions that ceremony raised, and then taking soft yet full, purposeful breaths allows the healing and new insights to integrate with my body, soul, and mind with ease. Exercise, such as walking, running, yoga, dance, tai chi, and aerobics, and doing artistic activities, such as drawing, painting, singing, making music, journaling and writing, also assist a great deal in settling the energies.

You may also want to create a sacred space at home where you can be alone without distractions to continue the inner work. If you do not already have a home altar or Mesa, you can create sacred space with even a candle or special object placed on a table. If you brought something to ceremony, you can place that on the altar to keep you aligned with the healing energies.

Be open to further messages, teaching, and insight from the plant when you meditate, contemplate, and sleep/dream.

Earth Medicine

It is also good to keep in mind that this medicine is strong earth medicine, and as its direct power remains in our bodies the days following ceremony, we have the chance to harness the energy and use it for its full healing potential, Thus, we suggest you embrace the ups and downs of power-ceremony energy lovingly, gleaning all its gifts.

Stay on the Diet!!

Please remain on a clean, organic diet for at least 2-3 days after ceremony. Eating highly processed, sugary, salty, spicy foods are not recommended. Also, please avoid high levels of caffeine, like coffee, alcohol, cannabis, and sex. Please note: alcohol and ayahuasca do NOT mix well together, and you can create problems for yourself if you bring alcohol into your diet too soon after ceremony. Also, please avoid recreational drugs, such as LSD, MDMA, mushrooms, cocaine, etc. for several weeks after ceremony!

Music

Here is a playlist of music that has been played in ceremony over the years, which is updated fairly regularly:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0A1uJWa9kFCX5unlcpFRm9?si=TQWmXTbDR7iR-__k1ikK8g

Please do not ask or email me questions about specific songs. I rarely remember specific songs in specific ceremonies. You are welcome to contact me, however, with questions about ceremony and integration through email. Please use discretion when referring to ceremony.

Note: there are videos about integration on the resources page.

Bibliography

1. Rachel Harris, Listening to Ayahuasca: New Hope for Depression, Addiction, PTSD, and Anxiety (Novato, CA: New World Library, 2017), 189.